![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lady_songsmithApparently I neglected to mention what job I got. I've now been thwapped by at least half of you -- you can stop now.
I am a family leave replacement, now 'til Christmas break, at an all-boys independent/Catholic school in NYC. I'm teaching 6th grade math and science, and I have one of two 6th grade homerooms.
I started yesterday, but the gentleman I'm covering for -- let's call him C -- is not yet on leave; I'm shadowing him while I learn my way around the school (a rabbit warren), the boys (so far I've learned 10 names), and the other faculty (very sweet. really, I should be getting cavities soon; this is unreal).
Yesterday is a bit of a blur, really. I was in meetings when I wasn't in classes or getting lost somewhere in the aforementioned warren. The only thing that really stands out is the one math class, which was notable for the jaw-dropping error C made in teaching the boys order of operations. Solve the following: 3(4 + 2 - 1) ÷ 1 · 3 (If your answer is a single digit, seek out your nearest math teacher and beg for a remedial lesson. If your answer is two digits, you can teach this math class more effectively than some.) I didn't say anything, not even when he did it again, different problem, because what was I supposed to say? I'm the n00b here.
Anyway, I itch to get my hands on the math class.
Today, however...
Well, I went down to the faculty lounge this morning before school started, met some lovely people and had a very nice conversation over coffee. Then I went up to homeroom. C stepped out for a moment to... do something, I forget. Anyway, I was alone in the classroom as the first couple boys trickled in.
At this point, I should explain that the school has fetes, on which days no homework can be assigned (that's due the following day, anyway), and some special events occur. (Coke at lunch!) These days are, mostly, important days on the Catholic calendar. Today was one. (A fete, not... I'll get to that.) One boy queried another as to why there was a fete. The other replied, "Because it's Dom Kipper, or something."
I repressed the snicker, quelled the smirk, and stamped ruthlessly on the impertinent mental image of a leather-clad breakfast item, then gently corrected the boys both on the pronunciation and on the holiday. Then proceeded to explain that the reason the school was celebrating was the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi. (Why St. Francis? I don't know. I asked someone, but she didn't know either, and pointed me to someone else. Predictably, I didn't see him again all day. Maybe tomorrow.)
After that, I sat in on the Religion class...
So the guy who teaches Religion is really nice and very funny. I'm not really sure why the homeroom teacher needs to be there, but apparently he/we/I do. Today's lesson was... probably officially it was on polytheistic vs. monotheistic religions. (They're doing comparative religions this year.) In practice, it was "Christians rock, others... don't. Because we're polite and can't say more than that." Now, I'm not religious. And I will be the first to admit to some serious holes in my theological knowledge. But I have always liked mythology, and I have taken a kick-ass course in it, and really, you can't get through medieval Europe without learning a fair amount of Catholic doctrine.
So the boys had written paragraphs about a god of their choice, and a couple got called up to read theirs. Then the teacher wrote "Israelites, Christians, Muslims" on the board, drew a line under them, and wrote "Greeks" below. The boys were then asked for the name of the god of the Israelites. (The snarky voice in the back of my brain -- it of the fish image -- promptly piped up with, "Which name?") They drew a blank, so he just filled in Jehovah and proceeded on to ask the same about Christian and Muslim, which they got. Then he made a fuss about those three names meaning the same deity, etc, etc. Then he asked them to name the chief god of the Greeks. And then things got weird.
After the vocabulary bit (polytheistic, etc), the boys were asked to name the three characteristics of the one god, which they had studied earlier. The scholar voice in the back of my brain, which usually, anachronistically, wears a toga and glasses, stood and began reciting, "Omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent..." but was promptly derailed when the boys answered. Apparently he's "Unique, Creator, and Paternal." Vocab moment #2 culminated in naming qualities of 'fatherliness' -- Responsible, Loving, Protecting.
There followed a step-by-step comparison on Zeus with God on these three points and the paternal sub-points. Zeus, you see, is not unique, because there were lots of gods -- he even had brothers (we named them) and sisters (the boys were asked to name the most famous. Nada. When informed it was Hera -- "No, that's his wife!" "Yes, that too." universal 'ewwwwwwww'). He is not a creator, because the universe existed before him -- he had parents, and even grandparents, and "not to gross you out even more, but Gaia was also Uranus's mother, as well as his wife." (The 'ewww' was louder and more sustained. Heaven help them when they do ancient history and get to kingship/divinity bestowed through the female leading to brother-sister marriages in most royal dynasties.)
And the Greeks believed that before that there was just something called "Chaos", which is just the Greek word for 'nothing', and then somehow without any reason there was suddenly something. (Scholar-voice breaks off lecture on 'chaos' to jump up and down in time with Snarky-voice, shouting, "Eros! Hello -- Eros! Hello!!!") Christians, however -- oh, yeah, and the... -- believe that there was always something, because there was always God.
Zeus isn't paternal because he isn't responsible: always sleeping around, lots of kids that 'he couldn't take care of' (Snarky voice: Uh -- king of the gods? Can do... just about anything he wants?), he isn't loving -- 'not in the fatherly way, at least', and he isn't protecting. Boy: "But, he throws thunderbolts!" Teacher: "Well, that's detroying, not protecting, isn't it?" And somehow the Trojan War gets used to illustrate that Zeus isn't protecting because 'the Trojans don't really think he is afterward, huh?' But God is concerned with protecting and taking care of everyone in the world... (Snarky-voice starts rattling off defeated enemies of the Israelites that might object to that characterization.)
Uh, this got really long and I have to get up in 5.5 hours. Next time I'll do "Mass, Meals, Martian Monopoly and Math". Really. Thwap me if I don't.
I am a family leave replacement, now 'til Christmas break, at an all-boys independent/Catholic school in NYC. I'm teaching 6th grade math and science, and I have one of two 6th grade homerooms.
I started yesterday, but the gentleman I'm covering for -- let's call him C -- is not yet on leave; I'm shadowing him while I learn my way around the school (a rabbit warren), the boys (so far I've learned 10 names), and the other faculty (very sweet. really, I should be getting cavities soon; this is unreal).
Yesterday is a bit of a blur, really. I was in meetings when I wasn't in classes or getting lost somewhere in the aforementioned warren. The only thing that really stands out is the one math class, which was notable for the jaw-dropping error C made in teaching the boys order of operations. Solve the following: 3(4 + 2 - 1) ÷ 1 · 3 (If your answer is a single digit, seek out your nearest math teacher and beg for a remedial lesson. If your answer is two digits, you can teach this math class more effectively than some.) I didn't say anything, not even when he did it again, different problem, because what was I supposed to say? I'm the n00b here.
Anyway, I itch to get my hands on the math class.
Today, however...
Well, I went down to the faculty lounge this morning before school started, met some lovely people and had a very nice conversation over coffee. Then I went up to homeroom. C stepped out for a moment to... do something, I forget. Anyway, I was alone in the classroom as the first couple boys trickled in.
At this point, I should explain that the school has fetes, on which days no homework can be assigned (that's due the following day, anyway), and some special events occur. (Coke at lunch!) These days are, mostly, important days on the Catholic calendar. Today was one. (A fete, not... I'll get to that.) One boy queried another as to why there was a fete. The other replied, "Because it's Dom Kipper, or something."
I repressed the snicker, quelled the smirk, and stamped ruthlessly on the impertinent mental image of a leather-clad breakfast item, then gently corrected the boys both on the pronunciation and on the holiday. Then proceeded to explain that the reason the school was celebrating was the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi. (Why St. Francis? I don't know. I asked someone, but she didn't know either, and pointed me to someone else. Predictably, I didn't see him again all day. Maybe tomorrow.)
After that, I sat in on the Religion class...
So the guy who teaches Religion is really nice and very funny. I'm not really sure why the homeroom teacher needs to be there, but apparently he/we/I do. Today's lesson was... probably officially it was on polytheistic vs. monotheistic religions. (They're doing comparative religions this year.) In practice, it was "Christians rock, others... don't. Because we're polite and can't say more than that." Now, I'm not religious. And I will be the first to admit to some serious holes in my theological knowledge. But I have always liked mythology, and I have taken a kick-ass course in it, and really, you can't get through medieval Europe without learning a fair amount of Catholic doctrine.
So the boys had written paragraphs about a god of their choice, and a couple got called up to read theirs. Then the teacher wrote "Israelites, Christians, Muslims" on the board, drew a line under them, and wrote "Greeks" below. The boys were then asked for the name of the god of the Israelites. (The snarky voice in the back of my brain -- it of the fish image -- promptly piped up with, "Which name?") They drew a blank, so he just filled in Jehovah and proceeded on to ask the same about Christian and Muslim, which they got. Then he made a fuss about those three names meaning the same deity, etc, etc. Then he asked them to name the chief god of the Greeks. And then things got weird.
After the vocabulary bit (polytheistic, etc), the boys were asked to name the three characteristics of the one god, which they had studied earlier. The scholar voice in the back of my brain, which usually, anachronistically, wears a toga and glasses, stood and began reciting, "Omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent..." but was promptly derailed when the boys answered. Apparently he's "Unique, Creator, and Paternal." Vocab moment #2 culminated in naming qualities of 'fatherliness' -- Responsible, Loving, Protecting.
There followed a step-by-step comparison on Zeus with God on these three points and the paternal sub-points. Zeus, you see, is not unique, because there were lots of gods -- he even had brothers (we named them) and sisters (the boys were asked to name the most famous. Nada. When informed it was Hera -- "No, that's his wife!" "Yes, that too." universal 'ewwwwwwww'). He is not a creator, because the universe existed before him -- he had parents, and even grandparents, and "not to gross you out even more, but Gaia was also Uranus's mother, as well as his wife." (The 'ewww' was louder and more sustained. Heaven help them when they do ancient history and get to kingship/divinity bestowed through the female leading to brother-sister marriages in most royal dynasties.)
And the Greeks believed that before that there was just something called "Chaos", which is just the Greek word for 'nothing', and then somehow without any reason there was suddenly something. (Scholar-voice breaks off lecture on 'chaos' to jump up and down in time with Snarky-voice, shouting, "Eros! Hello -- Eros! Hello!!!") Christians, however -- oh, yeah, and the... -- believe that there was always something, because there was always God.
Zeus isn't paternal because he isn't responsible: always sleeping around, lots of kids that 'he couldn't take care of' (Snarky voice: Uh -- king of the gods? Can do... just about anything he wants?), he isn't loving -- 'not in the fatherly way, at least', and he isn't protecting. Boy: "But, he throws thunderbolts!" Teacher: "Well, that's detroying, not protecting, isn't it?" And somehow the Trojan War gets used to illustrate that Zeus isn't protecting because 'the Trojans don't really think he is afterward, huh?' But God is concerned with protecting and taking care of everyone in the world... (Snarky-voice starts rattling off defeated enemies of the Israelites that might object to that characterization.)
Uh, this got really long and I have to get up in 5.5 hours. Next time I'll do "Mass, Meals, Martian Monopoly and Math". Really. Thwap me if I don't.
